So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
