My hand turned me down
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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