Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
either way he was missing a nipple.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
