Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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