I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
