Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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