There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
