i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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