Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
