What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize