the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
