My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
