Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
