i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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