come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i came on her dog
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
