He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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