I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The dick lei will go down in squad history
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
