Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
