It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
