I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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