You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
