so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I need a beard to bite.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
