What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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