I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
