So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
