i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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