I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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