puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The chlamydia really affected his face.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
