no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
