Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
