Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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