i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
