I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
