you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
