Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
