I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
