He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
