Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
