dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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