I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Randomize
