Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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