and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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