how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
