What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
