I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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