Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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