I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
