I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
