But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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