Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
