is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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