She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
