oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
