It's Friday. Sex?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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