great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
