Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize