So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
