whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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