i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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