Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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