do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize